I miss you a little. Today is your birthday, I wrote you a message and you had a short but nice reply. It felt good.
I just really want to hug you and see how you are, have sex with you, make you cum, make you happy, because of you. We had plans, a lot of plans and it's a little bit hard for me to let them go. In the other day, when I saw that you deleted our shared pictures... I felt pain. For the first time it wasn't about my pride, it was real pain. I want you to want me. I thought I can make you happy.
I don't think of you too much, just sometimes your face pops up in my head and that's all. Sometimes I have conversations with you in my head, as I'm trying to explain you how I feel about you and how disappointed I am. I wanted us to be something really good. I thought we are more, we are big, we are real. For a minute, only for a minute, I felt myself whole, with somebody who I understand and wants the same like me. And then, shit got real and the truth is, that we are not good together. I'm not good whit anyone at all. Not with you, not with my boyfriend, not with the lovers, not with the friends.
This whole thing is about me. Still, I don't know who I am. I'm a mess, because of me. I shouldn't trust anyone but me. I'm alone. And that's good, that's healthy, I have to get used to it.
I miss the feeling of love. When I lost the love for my boyfriend, you came back and I have filled the hole in my heart with you, but this wasn't enough. Of course it wasn't...
I'm afraid of talking to you, seeing you, thinking of you. I'm afraid that at some point I'll give up and I'll want you back, just because pretending that I feel love for you is easier than being without love...even if I know it would be only waste of time, with unnecesary pain, I'm afraid I'll be weak. Just like you, when it comes to her.
You are my bad habit, I can't get rid of you. You made me weak, because you are weak too. I'm so sensitive. Too sensitive...
I want to save you.
I just really want to hug you and see how you are, have sex with you, make you cum, make you happy, because of you. We had plans, a lot of plans and it's a little bit hard for me to let them go. In the other day, when I saw that you deleted our shared pictures... I felt pain. For the first time it wasn't about my pride, it was real pain. I want you to want me. I thought I can make you happy.
I don't think of you too much, just sometimes your face pops up in my head and that's all. Sometimes I have conversations with you in my head, as I'm trying to explain you how I feel about you and how disappointed I am. I wanted us to be something really good. I thought we are more, we are big, we are real. For a minute, only for a minute, I felt myself whole, with somebody who I understand and wants the same like me. And then, shit got real and the truth is, that we are not good together. I'm not good whit anyone at all. Not with you, not with my boyfriend, not with the lovers, not with the friends.
This whole thing is about me. Still, I don't know who I am. I'm a mess, because of me. I shouldn't trust anyone but me. I'm alone. And that's good, that's healthy, I have to get used to it.
I miss the feeling of love. When I lost the love for my boyfriend, you came back and I have filled the hole in my heart with you, but this wasn't enough. Of course it wasn't...
I'm afraid of talking to you, seeing you, thinking of you. I'm afraid that at some point I'll give up and I'll want you back, just because pretending that I feel love for you is easier than being without love...even if I know it would be only waste of time, with unnecesary pain, I'm afraid I'll be weak. Just like you, when it comes to her.
You are my bad habit, I can't get rid of you. You made me weak, because you are weak too. I'm so sensitive. Too sensitive...
I want to save you.
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